So sick of dating

Second, and more alarming, is why people are so distraught about being single. Write a book (disclaimer: I did this and as a result was single for two years, so plan accordingly). If you’re lucky, dating yourself might even bring you closer to the person you’ve been looking for.

I’ve spent the better part of the last year (okay, two years) (all right, fuck it, three years) single, and while I could make up a horror story about how miserable I was, the truth is I’ve never been happier. Wake up early and read a book that has been sitting on your shelf for months.

I was at a bar the other night when I got a text from this guy.

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I now keep a running tab in my journal of cool and clever people I know who are single and I cross-reference the list once every two weeks for potential matches — I’m like a boutique Hinge. It might give you the time to launch the project or embark on the adventure you’ve always dreamed of.

These guys are the worst because if they'd just tell you from the start that they just want to have sex on weekends and never do anything beyond that, you might be down with it. It's one thing to ask for help when you can't make a girl come, but it's a totally different thing to ask the girl if she can't have an orgasm, as though that's the only reason why she didn't.

But instead they say really sweet things and make it sound like you're the only woman in the world and take you to cute dinners. And it's like, sure, I know you got out of work late, but also mornings exist and so do lunch breaks. It definitely couldn't be that "what you did wasn't working for her and you need to figure out something else." Impossible. The guy who tries to convince you that condoms ruin sex. The guy you went on one date with and now won't take a hint.

And what a day that was for me, because it made me realize I was no longer a girl.

I was becoming a Like a real, grown-up woman, the kind you see in Maybelline commercials who advocate washing your face at night with three different cleansers.

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